I want to share a story. It’s a personal story, one that a few of you may already know. Part of this is for my personal journal, and part of it is just to give glory to God for the great work HE is doing in my life.
Before I get on with the story, I want to note that since the minute I quit my job without a plan, God has been doing HUGE work in my life. I mean, just huge. As a Believer, I trust and know that God is ALWAYS at work in me, but also am convinced that sometimes the sanctification process is just deeper at times. And boy, can it hurt! In the last few months, I’ve just seen how filthy and ugly my sin really is. It’s been so so so so difficult, but so so so so so worth it.
Because even in the midst of the struggles, the blessings have been so great.
Okay, so on to the story.
Probably everybody who knows me well knows that for several years, my biggest “want” has been a DSLR camera. Obviously, that’s a pretty large want, and we had other needs to take care of that trumped that big want. I really tried hard to have a great attitude about the camera we owned—it was nicer than a point and shoot, and it took decent outside pictures, but after Kendall came along, the shutter speed just didn’t cut it for me anymore. I really just wanted a better one!
At the beginning of this year, I decided that the only way I would ever be able to get the camera I wanted was if I started saving money for it. Even doing that, I knew it would take a loooonnngggg time. When I started saving, I also started praying about my desire for a new camera.
I’m going to stop here and say something about prayer. God is not a genie. He’s not in the business of granting wishes to people. God chooses, on His own agenda, to bless. Sometimes that comes in the form of material things, sometimes it comes in other forms. This story is NOT about me getting something I prayed for; it’s much, much bigger than that.
I’ll be completely honest in saying that I felt really stupid praying about wanting a new camera. Like, really stupid. But I really just wanted my motives to be pure. I wanted to work hard and save for it, but I also never wanted the money I saved or the camera to be something I was coveting. Let me tell you, that was NOT an easy feat. Sometimes, I felt like I was constantly praying about my camera situation and my attitude surrounding the whole thing. I know...there are a lot more important things that I could be praying for, right? Very selfish. I am convinced, however, that the more I know God, the more He desires us to talk to him about EVERYTHING. So I just do. Even if it really is some stupid little something like a camera.
I also told Evan from the very beginning what I was doing. I told him I was going to start saving, but at any time, if we needed the money for something I would give it. I was very honest with him and said that I probably wouldn’t give it willingly, but I would give it and be okay. He was on board with my plan.
Around July, I had all but about $200 saved. My birthday was coming, and I figured that sometime in the fall I would be able to make my purchase. I was soooo excited! Imagine my disappointment when at the end of July, I had to spend the money that I'd worked so hard to save on something else! Without going into a lot of detail, it was just very evident I needed to spend the money. Like the amount we needed was within five dollars of what I had saved. It doesn't get much clearer than that!
Evan was so fabulous through all of this--he tried everything possible for me NOT to have to spend the money! It was just completely necessary. I shed a lot of tears. We had LOTS of conversations about the whole issue, my attitude concerning it, how to become joyful again, what to do next--start saving again or just give it up. As much as I wish I could say I joyfully and willingly gave, I did not. It was HARD.
And the whole situation just came at a cruddy time, too. It was almost my birthday, (30th to be exact!) and because my mother's death anniversary is at the same time as my birthday, those first weeks in August are just difficult for me. I specifically remember Evan calling from Africa, so excited about my birthday gifts he purchased while he was there. I laughed and told him "it better be diamonds, because all I wanted for my birthday was a new camera and I knew I wasn't getting it."
I know this story is long...if your still with me, keep hanging. It gets so good. :)
Right before my birthday, I decided that I would just start saving again for my camera and use whatever birthday money I received to start a new camera fund. Imagine my surprise when I got three birthday cards in the mail that were all more (two of them double) than the amount that I normally receive for my birthday. I remember texting Evan after I got the cards and his reply was, "This might be the best birthday yet!" And it was a sweet birthday--he planned a surprise birthday dinner with sweet friends at a great restaurant, complete with cake and singing.
Fast forward about three weeks.
It was on a Tuesday evening, and Evan calls me and says, "I need you to be ready to go somewhere by the time I get home." I'm like, "Okay, but how ready do I need to be? I'm in a baseball cap, and Kendall and I have been outside playing all day." Evan says, "You probably won't want to wear a baseball cap." Great. It's 6:15, I have to be ready by the time he gets home (which is close to Kendall's bedtime) and I'm right in the middle of making a homemade lasagna. Seriously?
Well, at 8:00, Evan is still not home. He calls and I ask him if we could just meet him somewhere, because it's getting really late. He says to meet him at the Pie Kitchen. Let me just say that I was trying to be kind and joyful about this late excursion, but inside I was not happy. I had no idea what was going on, or why in the world he wouldn't just reschedule a time to take us out for dessert.
So we get to the Pie Kitchen and Evan says "I just realized today that we haven't really celebrated the new baby!" (Okay, really sweet, but couldn't you just have picked up a couple of slices of pie and brought them home? We could have easily celebrated at home! I'm telling you, my face was kind, but my heart was SOUR!!!) And to top it all off, we get in the Pie Kitchen, and Evan's phone is blowing up with text messages, but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I was really getting aggravated and it was starting to show. Finally, FINALLY he says, "Jay, Liz, Katherine, and Maggie were going to meet us to celebrate, but they went to a different Pie Kitchen, so we need to wait on them to get here." (Side note-Jay, Liz, Katherine, and Maggie are our sweet friends and Katherine and Maggie babysit Kendall. We've mentioned them on the blog before!)
I promise....not too much longer...if you are still reading, keep hanging. :)
The Roy's come in, and tell me that they have a belated birthday present for me. Katherine hands me a gift sack. I open it up, and there is a DSLR camera and two lenses, complete with a case and other accessories.
I'm not even joking.
I looked at Evan with huge tears, and said, "What in the world?"
The Roy's bought this camera (my camera now) for Katherine from Jeff Marshmann (friend and photographer that took that awesome picture on our blog header) back in the spring. Katherine was completely loving her camera, but while the Roys were on vacation (the same week Evan was in Africa) something messed up with the camera, and Katherine was unable to use it. Katherine's grandfather, who saw how upset Katherine was about her broken camera, graciously offered to purchase a new camera for her. When the Roys came home, they took the broken camera to the camera shop, only to find it was an easy fix. Since Katherine had a new camera, Jay and Liz wanted Katherine to give away the old camera, and Katherine said, "I want to give it to Leah. We've talked about cameras and she told me she'd been saving money to buy one." (Mind you, Katherine is 13. She could have EASILY picked any of her friends or anyone else. But she was thoughtful enough to remember our conversation and think of me. Isn't that precious?)
When Jay called Evan to talk to him about all of this, none of the Roys had any idea I had to spend my saved money on something else. From what I understand, Jay explained the above story to Evan, to which Evan replied with my story about saving, then having to spend. Then Jay was able to share the story with his father (the one who bought Katherine the new camera), who does not know the Lord.
I'm going to tell you right now, none of this is just coincidence. It's GOD AT WORK in the life of His children. He is good, faithful, kind, loving, and longs for us to know Him more.
I could go on and on about all I've learned about myself, about God, about His love for me and his hatred for sin, but I'll stop. Seriously, this post is long enough! I will close with a passage. Romans 8:28-39 has ministered to me so many times, for so many different reasons and I think of it often as I think about the work God is doing in my life right now.
And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew, he predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else that is in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Before I get on with the story, I want to note that since the minute I quit my job without a plan, God has been doing HUGE work in my life. I mean, just huge. As a Believer, I trust and know that God is ALWAYS at work in me, but also am convinced that sometimes the sanctification process is just deeper at times. And boy, can it hurt! In the last few months, I’ve just seen how filthy and ugly my sin really is. It’s been so so so so difficult, but so so so so so worth it.
Because even in the midst of the struggles, the blessings have been so great.
Okay, so on to the story.
Probably everybody who knows me well knows that for several years, my biggest “want” has been a DSLR camera. Obviously, that’s a pretty large want, and we had other needs to take care of that trumped that big want. I really tried hard to have a great attitude about the camera we owned—it was nicer than a point and shoot, and it took decent outside pictures, but after Kendall came along, the shutter speed just didn’t cut it for me anymore. I really just wanted a better one!
At the beginning of this year, I decided that the only way I would ever be able to get the camera I wanted was if I started saving money for it. Even doing that, I knew it would take a loooonnngggg time. When I started saving, I also started praying about my desire for a new camera.
I’m going to stop here and say something about prayer. God is not a genie. He’s not in the business of granting wishes to people. God chooses, on His own agenda, to bless. Sometimes that comes in the form of material things, sometimes it comes in other forms. This story is NOT about me getting something I prayed for; it’s much, much bigger than that.
I’ll be completely honest in saying that I felt really stupid praying about wanting a new camera. Like, really stupid. But I really just wanted my motives to be pure. I wanted to work hard and save for it, but I also never wanted the money I saved or the camera to be something I was coveting. Let me tell you, that was NOT an easy feat. Sometimes, I felt like I was constantly praying about my camera situation and my attitude surrounding the whole thing. I know...there are a lot more important things that I could be praying for, right? Very selfish. I am convinced, however, that the more I know God, the more He desires us to talk to him about EVERYTHING. So I just do. Even if it really is some stupid little something like a camera.
I also told Evan from the very beginning what I was doing. I told him I was going to start saving, but at any time, if we needed the money for something I would give it. I was very honest with him and said that I probably wouldn’t give it willingly, but I would give it and be okay. He was on board with my plan.
Around July, I had all but about $200 saved. My birthday was coming, and I figured that sometime in the fall I would be able to make my purchase. I was soooo excited! Imagine my disappointment when at the end of July, I had to spend the money that I'd worked so hard to save on something else! Without going into a lot of detail, it was just very evident I needed to spend the money. Like the amount we needed was within five dollars of what I had saved. It doesn't get much clearer than that!
Evan was so fabulous through all of this--he tried everything possible for me NOT to have to spend the money! It was just completely necessary. I shed a lot of tears. We had LOTS of conversations about the whole issue, my attitude concerning it, how to become joyful again, what to do next--start saving again or just give it up. As much as I wish I could say I joyfully and willingly gave, I did not. It was HARD.
And the whole situation just came at a cruddy time, too. It was almost my birthday, (30th to be exact!) and because my mother's death anniversary is at the same time as my birthday, those first weeks in August are just difficult for me. I specifically remember Evan calling from Africa, so excited about my birthday gifts he purchased while he was there. I laughed and told him "it better be diamonds, because all I wanted for my birthday was a new camera and I knew I wasn't getting it."
I know this story is long...if your still with me, keep hanging. It gets so good. :)
Right before my birthday, I decided that I would just start saving again for my camera and use whatever birthday money I received to start a new camera fund. Imagine my surprise when I got three birthday cards in the mail that were all more (two of them double) than the amount that I normally receive for my birthday. I remember texting Evan after I got the cards and his reply was, "This might be the best birthday yet!" And it was a sweet birthday--he planned a surprise birthday dinner with sweet friends at a great restaurant, complete with cake and singing.
Fast forward about three weeks.
It was on a Tuesday evening, and Evan calls me and says, "I need you to be ready to go somewhere by the time I get home." I'm like, "Okay, but how ready do I need to be? I'm in a baseball cap, and Kendall and I have been outside playing all day." Evan says, "You probably won't want to wear a baseball cap." Great. It's 6:15, I have to be ready by the time he gets home (which is close to Kendall's bedtime) and I'm right in the middle of making a homemade lasagna. Seriously?
Well, at 8:00, Evan is still not home. He calls and I ask him if we could just meet him somewhere, because it's getting really late. He says to meet him at the Pie Kitchen. Let me just say that I was trying to be kind and joyful about this late excursion, but inside I was not happy. I had no idea what was going on, or why in the world he wouldn't just reschedule a time to take us out for dessert.
So we get to the Pie Kitchen and Evan says "I just realized today that we haven't really celebrated the new baby!" (Okay, really sweet, but couldn't you just have picked up a couple of slices of pie and brought them home? We could have easily celebrated at home! I'm telling you, my face was kind, but my heart was SOUR!!!) And to top it all off, we get in the Pie Kitchen, and Evan's phone is blowing up with text messages, but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I was really getting aggravated and it was starting to show. Finally, FINALLY he says, "Jay, Liz, Katherine, and Maggie were going to meet us to celebrate, but they went to a different Pie Kitchen, so we need to wait on them to get here." (Side note-Jay, Liz, Katherine, and Maggie are our sweet friends and Katherine and Maggie babysit Kendall. We've mentioned them on the blog before!)
I promise....not too much longer...if you are still reading, keep hanging. :)
The Roy's come in, and tell me that they have a belated birthday present for me. Katherine hands me a gift sack. I open it up, and there is a DSLR camera and two lenses, complete with a case and other accessories.
I'm not even joking.
I looked at Evan with huge tears, and said, "What in the world?"
The Roy's bought this camera (my camera now) for Katherine from Jeff Marshmann (friend and photographer that took that awesome picture on our blog header) back in the spring. Katherine was completely loving her camera, but while the Roys were on vacation (the same week Evan was in Africa) something messed up with the camera, and Katherine was unable to use it. Katherine's grandfather, who saw how upset Katherine was about her broken camera, graciously offered to purchase a new camera for her. When the Roys came home, they took the broken camera to the camera shop, only to find it was an easy fix. Since Katherine had a new camera, Jay and Liz wanted Katherine to give away the old camera, and Katherine said, "I want to give it to Leah. We've talked about cameras and she told me she'd been saving money to buy one." (Mind you, Katherine is 13. She could have EASILY picked any of her friends or anyone else. But she was thoughtful enough to remember our conversation and think of me. Isn't that precious?)
When Jay called Evan to talk to him about all of this, none of the Roys had any idea I had to spend my saved money on something else. From what I understand, Jay explained the above story to Evan, to which Evan replied with my story about saving, then having to spend. Then Jay was able to share the story with his father (the one who bought Katherine the new camera), who does not know the Lord.
I'm going to tell you right now, none of this is just coincidence. It's GOD AT WORK in the life of His children. He is good, faithful, kind, loving, and longs for us to know Him more.
I could go on and on about all I've learned about myself, about God, about His love for me and his hatred for sin, but I'll stop. Seriously, this post is long enough! I will close with a passage. Romans 8:28-39 has ministered to me so many times, for so many different reasons and I think of it often as I think about the work God is doing in my life right now.
And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew, he predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else that is in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
7 comments:
Im crying....
SOOOO happy for you :)
That is so wonderful. I know you have other motives-or none for that matter-in this, but it inspires me because I am SO SPOILED about some things. I have a NOW! attitude and it gets me/us into trouble. Not major trouble, but enough to keep us from reaching bigger goals. But, I am trying ;) I am still paying off my camera, if that explains anything.
Love it!!! So happy for you!!! yay God!!!!
God is just good like that.
well, i cried the first time you told me and i'm crying again the second time! you'll have to let me know the latest on the grandfather. i've prayed that his eyes have been opened.
That is so great! I cried too when I first read this. I just love to see how God works in the lives of others:)
I stumbled upon your blog and love your story about the camera! What a great story and how your prayers were answered. God cares about us, even things that don't matter in the big picture (pun not intended). Things have happened like that to me so many times.
I too want a SLR camera. Great blog!
Post a Comment